Do We Create Happiness?

Life comes in all sizes and shapes.  We find ourselves adapting to changing circumstances, new and different people, ideas that were never thought of, and sometimes we react well, other times we are embarrassed by our behaviors….or we should be.

I read an article on The Huffington Post today by Marcus Buckingham about the happiness quotient in women and how it is, and has been, on a downward spiral.  Damn it, no one called me or I would have told them I think life is what you make of it.  Happiness is generated by our actions, by who we associate with, by the attitude we go out in to the world with. 

I try not to depend on others for my happiness; it can be disappointing because my expectations are not necessarily theirs.  Tough to live up to others standards.

We live in times that can be scary or harsh, just like any other time in history, except maybe the 50’s and the jury is still out on whether they were less scary or we were simply a more closed society.  I think we live in times that are idealistic and beautiful.  The sun comes up every day and each breath we take should generate a new view or perspective on what is happening with us. 

Our friends laugh with us when we are together, console us when things are bad, get in trouble with us, maybe bail us out (that’s for another day).  Our family loves us no matter what, even when we are screaming at each other for some real or imagined slight.  We gather to laugh about old memories, celebrate milestones and wonder what the future will bring.  The future will bring what we create in the now.

Treating others with respect brings respect back to us.  Laughing with people will always create an elevated mood, no matter how real life tries to get in the way. Sharing a calm and caring moment with those we like, and don’t like, always brings a warm feeling.

Now let’s not break out the rose colored glasses and grab a tissue.  We all have those moments in our life when all we really want to do is yell, cry, or smack someone. My reality, when I feel like that, I call my best friend and we always find humor in the situation no matter how bad or sad.  We hold each other’s life in our hands and never abuse it.  And after all, as my mother used to say “life is hopeless, not serious”.  It’s true, we will live our lives and what happens happens, we might as well enjoy it.

I think we have become a society that is afraid to admit we don’t have all the answers, we no longer agree to disagree, we are too busy to stop and say hello and ask after someone’s life. 

It’s really kind of sad when you think about the ways we deliberately forget how to be happy.  Think I’ll go call my friend…..


Positive Thoughts/Negative Vibes

Ever wonder how those people who yell all the time or are rude all the time act when they get home?  I have weekly interaction with someone who is always rude, always abrasive and always wants things her way.  I wonder when she goes home to her husband and kids if she brings that demeanor with her to share with her family.  Ouch mom.

I am not sure I understand people who always interact with others on that angry plane. I think it must take incredible energy to maintain that level of anger and I imagine the amazing the things that could be accomplished if they channeled that anger into positive attitude and action.  Who taught them that being rude, yelling and being impolite is the way to get things done? 

When I am talking to someone like that, the movie in my mind is smacking them silly (or at least until they laugh), while outwardly I am trying to be cordial and respectful. Not always an easy feat for me since I tend to be rather direct.  Ok, not rather direct, I am direct.  The harsh, angry side of me (you and I know everyone has that side) wants to maroon all these folks on an island and let them battle it out….wait could that be a new reality show? “Looking for combatants who are always angry, rude and abrasive to demolish other contestants”.  Sad thing is people would watch it.

We all have moments when our emotions get the better of us.  We are rude when we don’t mean to be.  We stomp that imaginary foot when we want things our way.  We react poorly to external forces that at times overwhelm us.  It is part of being human.  I try, and I hope most people try, to apologize when I am aware of doing it and I would hope whoever was the brunt of my behavior, would call me on it.  That’s what friends do.

Do we want to be around people who are constantly haranguing (definition: to criticize or question somebody, or try to persuade somebody to do something in a forceful angry way)?  I find that behavior toxic and as I get older I am less likely to put myself in the sphere of people like that.  But what do we do when there is no way to avoid them?  Negative vibes simply don’t appeal to me.

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