Do we get to define failure for ourselves?


So, you change jobs because you feel it’s not the right job for you; you break up with your partner because it’s just not working; you move to a different crowd of friends because you feel the current group doesn’t really help you move forward. Are these actions as failure?

I recently quit a job because I felt it wasn’t the right job for me.  I like the owner so very much and I believe in the mission of the company but the job and its responsibilities just didn’t seem to fit.  Am I a failure because I took a job and didn’t stay? In this economy, should I have tried harder, stayed even though I wasn’t the right person for the job? I worried about that for a bit and then decided no. In the long run, I have to do what is best for me and it just so happened it was best for the company too.

I think as a society we determine and judge success and failure using such youthful standards. Did we get an A? Were you invited? Are you popular? Did you make a bunch of money? These all sound like the questions we asked in high school yet they are the same questions asked as adults we just use a different language.

Instead of “Did we get an A?” we may be asked, “Are you at the top of your game?” In lieu of “Did you get invited?” we may hear “Will I see you at Bill’s event?” Did you make a bunch of money can be asked in so many ways subtle and not so subtle….”What neighborhood do you live in? What car do you drive? Nice LV handbag…subtle and not so subtle.

We need, on a humanistic level, to change our questions to reflect how actions feed our souls. I personally don’t care how much money someone makes, I care if they are happy.  I don’t care where a person lives since I don’t define them by their house, I am happy for someone if they have a successful moment defined by them not by their boss or by society. I am in awe of the person who consistently starts a sentence with “I love that you…….”

I love that my friends don’t define me by any of the “normal” standards.

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